


Born from Mischief and Lies

by Jeniouis



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alpha Loki (Marvel), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, And the real truth is heartbreaking, But Thor is probably a better parent than both of them, Discussion of Abortion, Frigga Tries Her Best, Hurt Everyone, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt Thor (Marvel), Loki finds out the truth about his past is actually a lie, M/M, Mpreg, NOTHING IS GRAPHIC, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Off Screen Sexual Abuse of a Child, Omega Heimdall (Marvel), Omega Thor (Marvel), Snatches Canon Up and Throws it in a Dumpster, Teen Parenting, This is gonna be a weird and different ride folks, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Thor and Loki build a new relationship, but from a distance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-02-27 13:49:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18740320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeniouis/pseuds/Jeniouis
Summary: Thor sighed. "Do you want to know the truth? The whole truth. No lies this time?"Loki looked at him narrowly, "Odin told you?""No." Thor said, "I was there."Thor tells Loki the whole truth about his conception. He hopes Loki takes it better than the last time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, hope you like this one. It's very different and...weird... I hope I captured everyone's voices well. I don't write for the Asgardians often so I'm out of practice with them.
> 
> There's trigger warnings for implied and referenced sexual abuse of a child and discussion of abortions. Tread softly.
> 
> Enjoy!

"She defeated the Valkyrie, you know. Single-handedly killed them all." Loki said oh so casually from beside him in the lift. "Just thought you might want to think about that before heading back."

Thor smiled a little, to himself. Loki's words were flippant but his want for Thor to stay was very real. Loki was only persistent with the things he cared about.

"How do you know this? The Valkyrie died before our time." Thor said.

"The wayward Asgardian. I saw her memories." Loki said.

Thor's brow furrowed, taking in Loki's words, pondering on them. "You can do that? That's one of your powers?"

Loki looked at him. "What?"

"Seeing someone's memories."

Loki smirked. "I can wield the magic to do so. Don't worry brother, I'm not particularly eager to dwell in your memories."

Thor chuckled. Times like this with Loki were nice when they could be…brothers. And that's what suddenly made this so sad. Because brothers were all they could ever be. Anything else was robbed from them.

Well, that and the fact that Loki would betray him here shortly made this moment bittersweet.

• • •

"I'm here."

Thor smiled. Yes, Loki was here. He was being loyal, at least at the moment when Thor needed him the most. And that was enough.

But lately, Thor had been thinking a lot about their lives, the past. He couldn't help but wonder if it would have been different if Loki knew. Shit, should he even tell Loki now? The last time he found out about his half-true parentage, he went mad for years. Still kind of was.

Would another shock really do him any good?

"You're deep in thought, brother," Loki said. He had moved over to the window, looking out at the vast void of space. Beautiful and horrifying. Much like Loki himself.

"Yes," Thor said absently, moving to stand beside him. "Loki…" Deep breathe. "When you view someone else's memories…do you navigate their mind or do they guide you?"

Loki looked at him curiously, brow furrowed. Thor could see the 'why' at the tip of his tongue.

But instead, Loki answered, "It depends. I suppose it's both. Usually, what I need is at the forefront of their thoughts."

Thor nodded, "Interesting."

Loki gave him a narrow, knowing look. "It's something about me, isn't it?"

"Not everything is about you Loki," Thor said, looking everywhere but at the alpha.

"Don't be coy, brother," Loki said, just shy of barked. Like he couldn’t find the energy to be angry. "My whole life is a lie. I knew there was more Odin didn't tell me." Most of his bite was gone. He was…resigned. Almost defeated.

"What did the All-Father tell you?" Thor asked.

Loki shrugged, "Enough. I am Jotun."

Thor sighed. "Do you want to know the truth? The whole truth. No lies this time?"

Loki looked at him narrowly, "Odin told you?"

"No." Thor said, "I was there."

The alpha thought on it, longer than Thor expected him to. He wanted to reassure Loki the truth wasn't near whatever horrors he was probably imagining but he couldn't be sure it was the truth. Thor thought him, Loki, a miracle, honestly. Loki was…Loki, though. Who knows how he'd take it.

"Fine," Loki said finally. "Tell me."

"It'll be easier to show you," Thor said, turning to face the alpha. Loki's eyes lit in understanding.

He could have asked Loki if he was sure he wanted to know but…there was no need. It's been over fourteen thousand years. It was well overdue.

"Fine," Loki said, placing his palm over Thor's forehead.

• • •

  
_"Thor, this hardly seems like an adventure," Sif said. Even though she still followed him, Volstagg, Hogun, and Frandral followed behind her._  
  
_"We are at war Sif. Don't you want the right to say you've seen war younger than everyone else." Thor said. Hardly an argument. But there wasn't a justifiable argument for why he wanted to visit Jotunheim. He simply wanted to and when he was told no, Thor was used to manipulating his way to getting what he wanted._  
  
_"Just as long as we don't end up getting killed younger than everyone else," Hogun said, yet still, he was following too._  
  
_So obviously they all wanted the same thing. They always did when they were up to no good. He was just the only one bold enough to act on it._  
  
_They had to hurry. The magic they used to conceal themselves wouldn't last too long and Heimdall, their watcher, must have noticed their absence already._  
  
_But it wasn't too much longer at this point. They were already at the docking site. They just had to be careful not to bump against anyone as they boarded the warship._  
  
_Of course, three of the five did. Immediately as they reached the ramp, Volstagg tripped and knocked down Hogun, who knocked down Fandral. Thor was the youngest of them, so he was smaller and had a more flexible maneuver around the tall and broad warriors. Sif was just a graceful being who was a natural at evading._  
  
_The three's magic immediately failed when they became acquainted with the ground and were hauled away before any words could be exchanged. Leaving room for Sif and Thor to sneak further onto the ship, in a small corner._  
  
_"They are a pitiful sight," Sif said as they watched their friends be hauled away._  
  
_"Yes," He said. "It will be a sad trip without them," Sif turned and gave him a stern look. "Fine, we'll go after them." He said, with no real intentions to do so._  
  
_They eased to the rail of the warship, a tricky task as the warriors were piling on again. Thor went through the act of climbing over as Sif hopped over the edge. And when she was gone, he sunk back to the floor._  
  
_He heard her angry whispers towards him when she realized he was gone but the ship was being started and they were rising in the air._  
  
_And suddenly, they shot forward and Thor felt the excitement bubbling in his belly._  
  
"Brother, where is this going?" Thor could feel Loki's thought and…apprehension as if he's almost already guessed what would happen.  
  
"Just wait, Loki."

_When they land, the warriors clear the ship quickly, for which Thor is glad for. His magic failed not long after the last man walked off the ramp._

_He could hear the general giving instructions from below and he peeked over the rail to see what was going on_

_Jotunheim wasn't as ugly as he thought it would be. The icy scenery that laid before his eyes was...oddly pretty. In a chilling way._

_He realized with that thought that he was chilled but he could endure. His Aesir blood ran warm._

_The warriors ran off to do as instructed when the general finished. Not long after, a projection of his father appeared and Thor was quick to duck down._

_He heard his father say that the war has claimed too many lives, on both sides. He was looking to settle a peace treaty with Laufey._

_The two talked a little longer but Thor's attention was lost when he heard ice cracking behind the ship. He crawled over and found three Frost Giants covering behind a frozen boulder, talking among in themselves in a foreign language._

_Thor stoped and closes his eyed, looking inside his heart and opening his eyes again. He had just learned how to use the the allspeak, so the translation was imperfect. But he could understand most of it._

_He caught them mid-sentence but they were wondering if they should bring the topic of a peace treaty to Laufey. Two of them were against it. One of them was tired of war._

_Then, all at once they were around him._

_He hadn't even known they saw him._

_Having to crane his neck, he looked up at their massive forms._

_"Is this not the Prince of Asgard's throne?" One said._

_"An omega Prince." Another said. "I think Laufey would find this bargaining chip more useful than a peace treaty."_

_He yelled when chains were suddenly wrapped around his wrists. It seared his skin, a pain worse than he's ever felt in his life, even if his years were few._

_Then he was dragged off at an incredible speed, screaming for his father whose projection turned around to him, calling out to him in surprise._

_When they reached what Thor assumed was Jotunheim's palace, he was thrown on the ground. And Laufey was inches away from him in seconds._

_He grinned, how teeth sharp and terrifying. "I didn't realize the Throne's heir was a bitch."_

_"I'm not a bitch. You ugly monster." Thor spat. "You are."_

_He realized, immediately after, that he wasn't in the position to call names. But he wouldn't take it back or cower._

_"I demand you take me back to my father," Thor yelled as he hopped to his feet. "I am the All-Prince and I won't stand being bullied._

_Laufey laughed, the sound cruel and mocking. "Odin should be glad for what I'm about to do. You need to be put in your place."_

Thor pulled away mentally. There was no need to show Loki this.

But he felt Loki's rage. He almost hadn't expected it. It happened so long ago, Thor rarely thought of it anymore. But for Loki, this experience was fresh. His rage chased the memory, almost as if he could interfere and stop it.

_But Thor instead guided him to the aftermath, when Laufey was through with him. When Laufey threw him on the ground. The unimaginable pain he was in. The incomprehensible cruelty of it._

_The was no distraction from it. No peace to be found. He was consumed in pain._

_"Well, All-Prince," Laufey said from above him, his voice mocking. "Do you still feel bullied?" …_

_Thor was conscious long enough to see Laufey get knocked down by a blast from Gungnir and the Bifrost opened above him. His mother came down, gathering him in her arms and he passed out just as they started their ascent._

• • •

_He woke up to father shouting, for a terrible moment he thought father was yelling at him._

_The dip in the bed beside him lifted, and he heard his mother yelling, "Odin, it is not Heimdall's fault. He's still a boy. He told us the second he noticed their disappearance. We wouldn't have found Thor without him."_

_There was silence for a moment before he heard a deep sigh and heavy footsteps walking towards him._

_He heard his mother's voice getting further away, "Don't worry dear. I thank you for everything you've done." Her voice got too soft for him to hear the rest. He hadn't even opened his eyes in all this time._

_He felt a soft touch on his cheek. "Thor are you awake, my son?"_

_Thor nodded as best he could, opened his eyes as best be he could. "It hurts Father. Everything hurts."_

_"I know darling. Go back to sleep. When you wake, the pain will be lessened."_

_He fell asleep at once. Probably magic, he thought when he woke up. The pain had indeed lessened but was still present. In all the places he wished it wasn't._

_He shuffled. Confused slightly. About where he was. Until his eyes focused on the dark room. The door was ajar, letting a streak of light pour through._

_He took great comfort in knowing he was home. In his dreams…his nightmares, he was back on a frozen, cruel world._

_He saw a shadow pass by and he called out, "Hey." Not even sure who the person was. But he needed to see somebody. Anybody._

_The figure came back, opening the door. "Thor?"_

_It took a few blinks for him to recognize the training sentry._

_"Heimdall!" Thor shouted, his arms outspread. The fellow omega came in, sitting beside him, and hugging him._

_"I am never leaving your watch again." Thor said. "I hope father wasn't angry with you."_

_"Not for so long," Heimdall said. "Are you..." Okay, Thor thought he would ask but Heimdall trailed off, saying instead. "Do you want me to get your parents?"_

_Thor shook his head. "Not just yet. I'm…" He didn't even know how he felt. He laid his head on Heimdall's shoulder and tried not to cry. Tried not to think about what had happened. But he kept remembering. He kept feeling it. The pain from it all._

_"It's okay." Heimdall said, "I understand."_

_And he did. Thor remembered a couple of years ago when Heimdall was sent from the orphanage to train at the palace, as all selected warriors did. Sending a lone omega into a sea of young, virile alphas ready for a fight was a disaster it seems no one saw coming. The older omega had to learn to defend himself very quickly._

_Thor never knew any particulars. He just heard his parents fuss about unhonorable alphas and Heimdall's name was thrown in the mix._

_And now, Thor understood as well._

_He laid his head on Heimdall's shoulder and cried. Cried in the way he knew he couldn't in front of his parents. He knew what they would say. What his father would say anyway about how a prince behaves himself._

• • •

_When he saw his father, he fussed at him about leaving Heimdall's watch for nonsensical mischief that will cost him much. Him and the child he was carrying._

_His mother shushed him quickly, telling his father Thor made a mistake. And he had already learned the harsh consequences of those mistakes. There was no need to repeat them._

_But Thor was shocked about something else entirely._

_"Child, father?" Thor echoed. "What child?"_

_And that's how he found out he was carrying a tiny gift from Jotunheim._

_Then they immediately informed him that the child will be aborted so he need not worry._

_But that wasn't what he wanted._

_"Now darling, you know that's what best. You are far too young to parent a child." His mother said as she sat beside him, hold him as he wept. "And you need to focus on learning, so you can grow up to be the great warrior and king we know you can be."_

_"But Mother!" Thor objected but she shushed him and told him this was best._

_"All-father, if I may," Heimdall's asked shyly from the corner of the room. Odin gave him a bit of strange look as if he were going to ask how could the omega possibly have an opinion on something that was entirely their business. Which is what he would normally say, but this time he only nodded. "Perhaps you could raise the child like his brother."_

_"Yes, Heimdall, we've considered that. We feel this will be best." Odin said, rather briskly while Thor was grasping at that possibility because it would keep his child alive._

_"Yes, my King," Heimdall said with a bow of his head. "I just wanted to ensure there wouldn't be any…regrets."_

_He said it in a way that was personal. Such a thing being personal to Heimdall had never crossed Thor's mind. The fellow omega was as big as the other alphas, more adept with the sword than they were. For the longest, he thought Heimdall was an alpha too._

_Thor always wanted to grow up to be an omega like Heimdall. Not the submissive, weak stereotype. But strong and mighty._

_Thor's parents went quiet at this, then suddenly spoke in a language Thor didn't understand. He was holding his breath, anxious._

_But then his father turned to him and asked, "Thor, is that what you would want? This would be an adoption. He would be our child. Not yours." The all-mother gave Odin a look but didn't object._

_"Yes father, I'll accept anything. As long as my child lives." Thor said, vehement._

_Odin nodded, "So it shall be then. When the child is born, we will adopt him. Or her."_

_"Can I name him?" Thor asked, hopefully._

_"I don't see why not." His mother said. And Thor smiled. At least…at least he can give his child that. If he can't raise him. Or her. But Thor had a feeling it was a him._

_His parents kissed him goodbye and told him to rest, telling him Heimdall will be there with him. They even thanked him as they left._

_Thor was surprised they even let him sit through such a scene. But Heimdall was an omega. Whom, Thor figured it was safe to assume, has gone through similar trauma._

_It was even more obvious when Heimdall sat beside and there was a deep sadness in the way he looked down at his hands._

_Thor slipped his hand into his, giving Heimdall a sympathetic smile that Heimdall returned. There was unspoken mutual understanding between them._

_"You should rest, Thor." Heimdall told him, tucking him back in, "I'll be here when you wake so. So you won't be alone." Thor wished, for a moment, his parents had done the same thing. But they were busy running a kingdom. They couldn't always be there when he needed them._

_• • •_

_A few months later Thor was hurled over the sink. He felt as if he'd puke up the child before it could ever be born._

_When he was through, he washed out the bowl and brushed his teeth, easing back to the bed._

_He was bedridden for the entirety of his pregnancy. The abuse he endured, the nature of the Frost Giants, had ravaged his body. The healers didn't think he'd be able to carry again. But that was fine. Just as long as he carried this one._

_Heimdall was training this morning so he was by himself._

_"Hey, little one," Thor said, rubbing a hand over the small swell in his stomach. "The healers said you can hear me now. I hope you remember my voice."_

_He could feel his baby bouncing around, bumping into his hand._

_"I think you'll be a boy." Thor declared for the first time out loud. "And I shall name you Loki.”_

_Thor smiled, albeit very sadly, “You’ll be Loki Odinson in name, but always Thorson in my heart.”_

• • •

_His son was born in the wee hours of the morning, after a very long and painful labor. He was too early. Thor had done all he could to keep his son housed in his belly, he did everything the healers told him to do but Loki seemed quite determined to escape._

_The labor took so long, there were so many complications that the healers thought it might be better to cut the child out instead but a few hours more and Thor finally felt his son pass through._

_His mother was by his side quickly, wiping away his sweat and tears, telling him it was over now and he did well. His father was away, talking over a peace treat with Jotenheim. Thor would have gladly had the whole world destroyed instead._

_Thor took comfort in his mother's embrace but after too long and hearing no child he started to worry, fear crept into his heart. “Mother, I don’t hear him. Is he okay?” He started trying to get up to see where Loki was but mother gently held him where he was._

_“Yes, I believe so. Let the healers do their work.” She said._

_Before long he heard the small cries of a baby and a small, blue form bundled in cloth was laid on his chest. His son was precious. He barely registered his Jotun form. He touched Loki’s small cheek and his baby started to change under his touch. Taking the form of an Aesir._

_“What’s his name?” Mother asked._

_“Loki.” Thor answered, unable to hold back his tears, “Loki…Odinson.”_

_His mother smiled sadly and kissed his hair, “We promise him a happy life, Thor. And you’ll always be with him. Just as a brother.”_

• • •

Loki pulled away in shock and hurt, turning from him, leaning on the glass of the window on one arm. As if this realization had drained every ounce of the energy in his body.

Thor realized how shocking the truth had to be to him. He’d give Loki all the time he needed to process.

Loki chuckled, unexpectedly, after a while, “You know if you were trying to beat Odin with the most shocking revelation, you most certainly did.”

“Loki,” Thor was cautious, “are you all right?”

Loki scoffed, “I just found out my brother is actually my father because he was raped by a Frost Giant when he was a child. No Thor, I’m not _alright_.”

Please don’t embark on another murder streak, Thor thought.

“Yeah, well when you put it like that…” Thor said, moving towards Loki. “Will you be alright?”

Loki scoffed again, looking back out into the void of space. “It all makes sense now. Why fath- _the all-father_ …why…everything.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Thor said, even if he didn’t exactly know what Loki was thinking. He could guess.

They stood in silence, for quite a while. A comfortable silence despite the situation. Thor’s thoughts weaved in and out of worrying over Loki and worrying for his people. That was natural at this point though. Worrying over Loki had always taken half his concentration since the boy was born.

“Why don’t you hate me?” Loki asked, suddenly. Green eyes full of anger met his.

“I couldn’t. You’re my child, Loki.” Thor had never said it out loud. The words felt right but also wrong, like.he wasn't supposed to say it. He was almost afraid Odin would appear and tell him to never utter them again. Odin had been very adamant about Loki never finding out. But Thor didn’t regret telling him. He only wished he had told him sooner.

“Conceived in the worst possible way.”

Thor almost said there were definitely worse ways to be conceived, but that wasn’t the point, was it?

“Believe me, the second I found out about you, your conception was rarely a thought in my mind,” Thor said, thinking back on it. “I just wanted you to be okay. You’ll understand one day when you have a child.”

Another moment of silence and thought.

“I was glad you didn’t turn out like Laufey,” Thor said. That had indeed been a real fear.

“Didn’t I?” Loki said as if he had been thinking about that very thing.

Thor shook his head. “You’re a little shit, often misguided, but never ruthless or cruel.” And Thor was very aware of how just cruel Laufey could be.

_"Well, All-Prince," Laufey said from above him, his voice mocking. "Do you still feel bullied?"_

“I’m glad I killed him,” Loki said, his voice bitter, full of quiet rage. “I only wish I had known then so I could have done it slowly.”

And on that sentence, Loki shimmered in green and disappeared.

‘Well,’ Thor thought, ‘as far as revelations go, that wasn’t too bad. Should probably just let Loki process this by himself.’

That thought lasted exactly one second before he rushed out of his room to find Heimdall. Maybe he could see where Loki had gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate the kudos and comments. I didn't expect more than three people to read this XD I hope you enjoy the update and I hope Thor and Loki are still in character!!

_Loki was a curious infant. Always looking around, always reaching for something new to experience. Often reaching for things an infant shouldn't touch._

_Sometimes, if his parents were away and their new watcher, since Heimdall was far too advance with his training to be boggled down with babysitting, was preoccupied with her new boyfriend for the week, he was allowed to keep Loki out of the things he shouldn't be in._

_Thor took joy in those moments. An odd thing to savor, he supposed. But he was always afraid, when he wasn't around, no one would protect his baby the way he would._

_His parents were away often. And the watcher was always preoccupied with something else. And he_ knew _this. He spent every moment awake very aware that his son could be getting too close to the fireplace, and she wouldn't be there to stop him. Or Loki would be crawling towards the balcony, and she would be too busy gossiping with her friends to notice._

_He had faith in Heimdall when he was their watcher. He was competent in his job and everything he did was done with the upmost honor and dignity._

_This worry proved to be distracting. He would be in class and suddenly his thoughts would drift away, hoping Loki wouldn't eat something he found on the ground. Or Thor would be in the middle of sparring and suddenly get lost in concern, hoping Loki hadn't wandered too far around the maze-like palace and got lost, and be crying out only for no one to hear him._

_Then he would get promptly hit in the face and knocked down._

_He wasn't this sloppy_ before _. So after getting distracted one time too many, his instructors felt inclined to tell his parents._

_And when his father asked what was taking away his attention, he told them his concerns, hoping they'd either get a new watcher or, even better, let him spend more time with Loki._

_Instead, his father told him that Loki wasn't his concern. He had to focus since he was so far behind and let them worry about_ their son _._

_Each word tore a piece from his heart._

_He almost cried. But he couldn't in front of his father. That's not how a prince behaved._

_So instead, he grumbled a, "Yes, Father," and stalked away. Down the hall to the nursery. He was supposed to go back to the training grounds._

_But he wanted to see Loki. So he would. And if his parents yelled at him for his disobedience, then so be it. But Laufey had already taken_ so much _from him._

_He wasn't going to lose his son too._

_Even if he played by their rules, Loki would never be far from him. He wouldn't allow it._

_The watcher was down the hall, lips attached to an alpha he didn't know._

_Meaning his child was in the room alone._

_It took everything he had not to strike her with a lightening bolt._

_He opened the door and found Loki trying to climb out his crib, he was almost over the top railing, seconds from plummeting to the ground._

_Thor grabbed him hastily. He didn't even know how Loki had done such a thing. He was still too small._

_"Little one, you are mischievous." Thor said as he laid his son on his shoulder. Loki cooed a bit but didn't fuss. He never fussed in Thor's embrace._

'Oh how that changed,' Thor thought as the memory passed his mind. He rounded a corner and hesitated outside the door.

He had found Heimdall standing at the helm of the ship, holding Hofund as if he were still standing guard at the bifrost.

Heimdall told him Loki had gone no further than his room, and that he appeared to be fine. Just in thought.

Thor had sat down, suddenly feeling the weight of everything single thing that had happened within the last twenty-four hours.

"Maybe I shouldn't have told him." Thor had said.

Heimdall replied with, "He deserved know. It was the All-Father that decided he shouldn't. And Odin, though a good king, was often misguided."

Thor leaned back in his seat. "He would have had you executed if he heard that."

"Probably." Heimdall said, amused.

Thor was hesitant. "Do you think I should bother him?"

"You're his father." Heimdall said. "What do you think?"

"It's weird to hear it said out loud." Thor said, as he stood, rolling it over in his mind. "I think if Loki didn't be want to be bothered, he would have gone further."

"I agree." Heimdall had said. It gave Thor a bit of confidence.

Confidence that was wavering now.

He gave Loki life, yes, but...he wasn't his _father_. Odin had that honor. Some days, it felt like he stole it. But either way, it didn't belong to Thor. He was Loki's brother. He hadn't had the chance to be his father.

And now, out of the blue, he was supposed to be Loki's parent?

No.

Hell, he couldn't even imagine Loki calling him "father". It would be weird. He wasn't old enough. He was painfully young when he had his son.

So, he'd be his brother because that's what Loki knew. It's what Thor knew.

Armed with this decision, he knocked. The door opened as soon as his skin touched it.

Loki had flopped, face up, on his bed by now. "I knew you'd come. You always do. And now I know why."

"You say that as if a brother wouldn't do the same." Thor said, be walking in and taking a seat in one of Loki's chairs.

"You were far more persistent." Loki said. A beat passed. "This is all sorts of fucked up."

Thor chuckled a little, "Yeah, but worth it." He said very honestly.

There was a pause before Loki said, "I wouldn't have faked my deaths if I had know that."

It caught Thor off guard. It was almost an actual apology.

"Yes you would have. You just wouldn't have done it as often, maybe." Thor said. Because it was the truth. Loki was the god of mischief. Pulling off a trick as big as faking his death would have been too big of an accomplishment for him ignore.

Loki smirked a little, but didn't say anything immediately. "I don't think I can forgive them for this."

"Loki," Thor said pleadingly, "They we're only doing what they thought was best."

Loki scoffed, "Yet they always ended up doing the _worst_."

"That's not true Loki." Thor said. He just nearly kept himself from saying, 'they didn't always do their worst.' But that would prove Loki's point more than anything. "Our lives would be very different if they did their worst."

Loki sighed, but went silent. Not convinced, Thor figured. But then again, if he were in Loki's shoes, he probably wouldn't be convinced either.

Shit...Thor wasn't convinced himself right now. They did their best, yes. But for whom? For Thor? For Loki? For the kingdom? For _themselves_?

But having Loki threw everyone off track. He didn't regret having him, though. Never did. He regretted how, and when. But if this was the only way to have Loki, then so be it.

"What are you thinking?" Thor asked because he had been silent for too long and Loki plus silence usually meant trouble in the very near future.

"Do you remember when the Fire Dwarves attacked Asgard and released a poison that was aimed to kill children?" Loki asked suddenly.

Thor took a deep breath. He tried to forget each and every memory where Loki almost died. There were many.

"I do." Thor said, leaning back. The Fire Dwarves were a wretched people that released some sort of gas on Asgard that affected young children. It was a dark time on Asgard. The poison made children very ill and many died. Some children were stronger than others and survived.

"The poison they released took a week to pass through the body, but it was only fatal for the first day." Thor said.

Loki nodded, sitting up, "Well, let me tell you what I've been thinking about all this time."

_Loki hated being locked away in his room. He hadn't even done anything wrong this time. He had just been playing in the corner of the throne room as he always did when Heimdall rushed in, panicking about Fire Dwarves and suddenly Thor sent him to his room._

_Thor! As if he had the right to give him orders. Loki would have paid him no attention but father told him to mind his brother._

_Stupid Thor._

_Loki sat on the floor, in a fowl mood until the door burst open suddenly and there was the very person he was mad at._

_"Leave me alone." Loki grumbled._

_"Shut up." Thor said, kneeling to his level. He looked concerned and cross. "I'm trying to save your life dumbass."_

_"I'm telling mother you swore." Loki said, and his mouth and nose was immediately covered with a damp cloth._

_"Hold this here. Do *not* let it drop." Thor said, picking him up. "The healers said you need to wear this._

_His voice was serious in a way it rarely was. And it put Loki on edge._

_"What's wrong, Thor?" Loki asked._

_His brother put him in bed, even though Loki wasn't tired. Thor sat beside him, hesitating._

_"Fire Dwarves invaded Asgard, and released an attack on our children." Thor explained, "You're going to get sick for a bit. Okay?"_

_"Fire Dwarves?" Loki echoed, thinking about it for the first time. "I learned about them in class." Loki gasped, suddenly terrified. "Am I going to die?!"_

_Thor sighed, running his fingers through Loki's hair, "Don't panic, little one. I promise you'll be alright."_

_His brother gave him an honest smile, there wasn't a waver in his gaze. Loki nodded, knowing his brother wouldn't lie to him._

_Their parents came in soon after, telling Loki a web of lies of how children often get sick and he had caught the flu. Loki told them what Thor told him and he's never seen them so angry._

_Thor didn't react to their father's angry lecture. He simply leaned back against the headboard. And he very obviously wasn't going to move from Loki's side. Of course, he wasn't. He was always by Loki's side._

_He was a big, stupid oaf but the best big brother Loki could ask for. Even if he'll never, ever, ever tell Thor that. It would go to his big head._

_"He needed to know the truth, father." Thor said after a moment._

_Their father glared at him, "He is_ our _son. We'll decide what he needs to know. Not you!"_

_The glare Thor gave their father was less angry and more hurt._

_He opened his mouth to speak but Loki felt his throat suddenly get very dry. He started coughing and couldn't stop._

_And then he chest started to hurt. Like his lungs were on fire._

_"Thor?" He called out. He didn't know why. Maybe because Thor was the closest to him. Maybe because Thor had told him the truth. But he immediately corrected himself. "Mother, I don't—my chest hurts!" He said, reaching out to Frigga, who picked him up._

_"I know darling. It will pass." She said, holding him close._

_Hours passed and it only got worse and worse. He started throwing up and coughing up blood. Loki was terrified. But his parents were there, by his side when he needed them the most._

_Until they weren't._

_All Loki knew was one minute, they were holding him, whispering comforts in his ear, the next a healer said it's been twenty-seven hours and suddenly he was tucked in bed, a kiss to his forehead as father explained that he'll be fine now and they had to go tend to the kingdom._

_And then they were gone._

_Loki didn't even know what to do, what to say. He didn't know why they left him when they still needed him._

_"T-thor?" Loki said before he started coughing again. His brother had stayed there with him too. And was still here. For that, Loki was grateful...but..."Why did they leave?"_

_"It's okay, little one." Thor said, pulling covers over him that Loki kicked off. He was cold but he was in a foul mood. "They have a lot of people to take care of. Not all children are as strong as you."_

_"I want Mother!" Loki whined, in misery. "Bring her back!"_

_Thor sighed, in a sad way Loki barely noticed. What did he have to be sad about? He wasn't the one suffering._

_"Don't panic, Loki. I'm sure they'll be back." Thor said, though his tone wasn't certain._

_But Loki calmed down at the words. He hadn't thought of that. They probably would come back._

_Except they didn't. He waited for them and they didn't come back. Didn't even send a guard to check on him. It was only him and Thor._

_"I want Mother!" Loki screamed. He was in pain. He was scared. And he was so, so angry. He figured if he fought with Thor long enough, he'd leave and make their mother come back. So he kicked and screamed and hit as much as he possibly could. Which wasn't much, because he felt_ so weak _._

_"I know." Thor said. His voice was exasperated, but he was too concerned to be annoyed enough to leave. Loki could tell by the way he rubbed his cheek. "But I'm here." He said hopefully._

_"I don't want you!" Loki screamed, slapping his hand away. "I want mother. I want father. Leave me alone!" He said it, he even meant it. He'd far rather have his parents here than Thor. But his brother wouldn't leave. He would never leave him. Not when Loki was so sick._

_"I know!" Thor said. Loki felt a rise of victory when Thor suddenly looked crossed, and his voice was sharp. But instead of leaving, he simply lifted Loki up and sat him in his lap. Loki was all gross with sweat and spit and blood. But Thor held him close anyway._

_"I know you want your parents." Thor said, kissing his forehead. "And they'll come back before too long. For now, try to rest."_

_Loki was ready to protest again. He was too miserable to sleep. But he heard the soft rumble of Thor purring from where his head was pillowed on his brother's chest._

_It was rare for Thor to even acknowledge his gender, let alone act on it. Loki hadn't heard him purr in years, only when the young alpha was particularly distressed and Thor felt the need to calm him down._

_Loki felt his body relax almost instantly. He was still miserable but he wasn't scared anymore. He couldn't sleep but he was calm now._

_Thor wrapped him in a blanket after a while, but kept Loki in his arms. And it was nice. Loki felt safe. But as time passed he slowly realize something._

_"They're not coming back, are they?" Loki asked._

_Thor chuckled a little, a bit sad, "You say that as if they've abandoned you. You'll see them again very soon. When you're well."_

_Loki was quiet for a long time before he said, "You would have came back."_

_But then again, Thor had never left._

_"They're running a kingdom and I am not." Thor said, but he didn't sound quite right. Like he hadn't wanted to say it. Thor hesitated a bit, as if he didn't know what else to say. "They love you very much and want you to be well."_

_Loki didn't say anything else but he was wondering…if what Thor said was true, why weren't they_ there _._

Thor was…stunned. Of ALL the things to dwell on in his fourteen hundred plus years, Loki remembered that one week in vivid detail.

Of all the devious, mischievous shit Loki got himself into and Thor had just the tiniest seconds to save him, of all the times Loki had been sick, sicker than then, this is what Loki remembered.

Why?!

"I saved you from a bilgesnipe THREE times!" Thor said. "And you've been dwelling on one of the times I purred."

Loki dragged a pillow off his bed and tossed it at him, "I didn't _need_  you to save me! I could have handled myself perfectly fine."

"Yes, the panicked screams of you running away told me as much." Thor said, and his face was met with another pillow.

"I wasn't dwelling on your gender, oaf." Loki said, then knit his brow, in am almost remorseful manner. "All my life, all I ever wanted was a father who treated me like his son. And I had that all along and I never knew. Odin would rather have me searching for something where I'd never get it. I'll never forgive him for that."

Thor took a deep breath, "Loki, I'm not much older than you. I couldn't have been a father."

"But you practically were!" Loki just shy of shouted. "Everything I know, you taught me."

Thor sighed, looking down at his hands. He couldn't keep arguing this because what Loki was saying was…almost true. A lot of Loki's care did come from him. Especially as he got older. Thor didn't even know why he was trying to convince the alpha otherwise. His parents weren't often around when he wanted them to be and they did more for him than they had for Loki.

Perhaps because he always faulted himself for Loki being so off kilter. He always thought if had not interfered as much, Loki would of had a more stable childhood.

"Maybe that was the problem." Thor said. "I was in the way."

Loki shook his head, "Without you, I would have been all alone."

Thor sighed, standing to move and sit by Loki. "They loved you Loki. They really did."

Loki nodded, inhaling sharply. His eyes were almost wet but he blinked it away. "I know but they didn't like me. At least not father—Odin."

If that were true, Thor didn't notice. Odin was a hardened man. If one didn't know him well enough, they would of thought he didn't like anyone.

But at the same time, Odin might have been resentful. Because of the way Loki was concieved.

Maybe deep down, Thor knew Odin had been resentful. Maybe he always tried to shield Loki from it.

He obviously failed.

"You can still call them your parents." Thor said, almost adding, 'Because they were,' but it was apparent Loki didn't feel the same way.

"That's a slap in your face." Loki said.

Thor huffed in amusement, "Oh now you get sentimental."

Loki smiled a little, meeting his eyes, "Don't expect me to call you Daddy."

Thor laughed.

Well, this little chat went far different yet far better than Thor expected it to.

There was just one little thing that the omega was constantly aware of.

Loki was a little shit, who'd rather let sentimentality burn to a crackling crunch. Thor couldn't help but wonder if Loki was being genuine or…if this were all just an act.


End file.
